


tell me baby, do you recognize me?

by poiregourmande



Series: Gorgeous Kids - The Muladej Verse [2]
Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series), US Comedians RPF
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Background John Mulaney/Annamarie Tendler/Pete Davidson, Christmas, Light Angst, M/M, Multi, Past Relationship(s), Polyamory, Polyamory Negotiations, the one that got away
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-09
Updated: 2019-12-09
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:55:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,125
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21736432
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/poiregourmande/pseuds/poiregourmande
Summary: it would be a shame if shane ran into an old flame as he's flying home for his first christmas with his new boyfriend, wouldn't it?
Relationships: Ryan Bergara/Shane Madej, Shane Madej/John Mulaney, Shane Madej/John Mulaney/Ryan Bergara
Series: Gorgeous Kids - The Muladej Verse [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1566613
Comments: 24
Kudos: 62
Collections: RareBuzzShips Holiday Event





	tell me baby, do you recognize me?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sequence_fairy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sequence_fairy/gifts).



> credit to mukemagic for bringing this ship back, & sequence_fairy for giving me these first lines almost verbatim
> 
> this is part of a series, you don't have to read the first one to understand, but it would be much more fun for you if ya did

O’Hare is such a huge airport, the odds of bumping into someone you know, especially two days before Christmas, are astronomically low. 

Of course, Shane Madej has this exact amount of bad luck, because why shouldn’t the universe have a bit of fun at his expense?

So there he is. December 23rd, fresh off an overbooked flight that got postponed three times, trying to remind himself that they’re gonna have fun, his parents are gonna love his new boyfriend Ryan, and that they won’t have to set foot in this hell-on-earth airport for another two weeks. He’s struggling with their suitcases on a cart, suffocating in his winter coat, and trying to remember where Scott said he’d be picking them up, when he almost crashes his cart into another. 

“Oof, sorry —” He cuts himself off abruptly when he notices the person attached to the cart. 

“Holy shit,” Ryan gasps. 

In front of them, looking just as disheveled and disheartened by his surroundings, stands none other than Shane’s on-again, off-again ex from college, comedian extraordinaire John Mulaney. 

“Alex.” John nods solemnly like this was a business meeting. 

“I go by Shane now,” Shane says, because it seems important at the moment. 

“You’ll always be Alex to me.”

Suddenly, Shane is nineteen years old again and John’s eyes still manage to put his heart through the wringer and make him love every second of it. 

“Y—you’ve done well for yourself,” Shane manages, because it’s no use beating around the bush of John’s celebrity. 

“So have you.”

Ryan gives a jerk next to Shane, stands up straighter, and Shane knows what he’s thinking —  _ John Mulaney knows about our show _ . 

“Oh, um —” Shane remembers his manners — “John, this my boyfriend —”

“Ryan Bergara,” John finishes, shaking Ryan’s hand. “Big fan.”

Ryan doesn’t answer, except for something that sounds a bit like  _ hhhnnrrk _ , and honestly, Shane thinks,  _ mood _ . 

“We should catch up,” John says, turning back to Shane. “I’m in town with family until the new year.”

They exchange numbers so they can meet up for coffee — “a cup of kindness,” John says with a grin; “for auld lang syne,” Shane answers, falling back into their easy, nerdy banter as if they’d never parted. 

John walks away like the ghost of Christmas past didn’t just ram into his luggage cart and upend his life — and maybe it didn’t. Maybe this is all one-sided on Shane’s part. 

“Shane,” Ryan pulls on his sleeve excitedly. 

“Shane!” he tries again when Shane is unresponsive. 

Shane finally turns to him. 

“Shane, that was John Mulaney!”

Shane knows that. 

“Shane, he watches the show!”

Shane nods absentmindedly. 

“He wants to meet up, what the hell, dude!” 

“Ryan,” Shane says pleadingly. “Can we just go?”

Ryan raises his eyebrows but doesn’t press, and Shane loves him for that. Ryan takes the cart, and Shane’s bag, and navigates to where Scott is waiting for them, and Shane loves him for that. He squeezes Shane’s hand in the car, makes sure Shane knows he’ll be there to listen when he’s ready, and Shane loves him for that. 

They can’t talk until late that night, after Ryan’s met Mark and Sherry, after they’ve had a nice dinner, after they’ve baked cookies for three hours for the next day. 

“So…” Shane sighs as they’re getting ready to shower before bed. “John.”

“Mulaney,” Ryan says, and Shane knows he might have trouble thinking of him as  _ Just John _ . 

“I never really went into much details, have I?”

Ryan shakes his head no, careful not to rush him. 

“We were on and off all throughout college. It was a messy thing. But I loved him.”

“You did?!” Ryan couldn’t look more astonished if Shane had said his college paramour had been Mothman. 

“John was amazing, we had so much fun together… but the not-so-fun times… at the end they were more frequent than the fun ones. He needed help.”

Ryan nods understandingly. It’s crazy to Shane to think that his ex’s history of addiction problems is common knowledge out there. 

Shane rakes a hand through his hair. “Seeing him tonight…” He lets out a puff of air. “It brought everything back.” 

Shane presses a palm to the cold bathroom tile, trying to shake his thoughts in order. 

“Ryan,” he says, unable to look him in the eye, “I’m still in love with him.”

Ryan’s expression doesn’t change, he’s not surprised or angry or giving any sign that he heard his boyfriend saying he’s still in love with his ex.

Instead, he turns the shower on and shrugs off his bathrobe, steps under the spray. “He’s clean, now,” he says. 

“What?” Shane says, not sure he’s following. 

“Drugs. Wouldn’t be so much of a problem, now.”

Shane follows Ryan in the shower, starts soaping up absentmindedly. He can’t seem to figure out what’s Ryan trying to get at. 

“Are you breaking up with me?” Shane asks suddenly. 

“What? No! Of course not!”

“It seems like you were suggesting I should get back with John.”

Ryan gives the tiniest shrug. “I mean, you know, the one that got away and all that… it just seems like the reasons why it didn’t work out last time are… not really there anymore, right?”

Shane steps under the spray, eyes closed. He lets the water wash away the soap, but try as he may, Ryan’s ludicrous suggestion is still clinging to every fibre of his soul. 

“There’s other reasons, now,” he croaks. “Reasons such as you. His wife.”

Ryan gives a bitter laugh. “Oh no no no, sir. You are not giving up your chance to be with John Mulaney for little old me.”

Shane whirls around to see him, the blood in his veins icy although the water falling over him is hot. 

“That’s all this is to you, isn’t it?” he bites. “Mulaney this, Mulaney that. You’re only pushing for this because he’s famous.” Shane steps out of the shower, starts drying himself off with a towel, leaving Ryan bewildered and hurt under the rapidly cooling spray. “He’s not John Mulaney to me. He’s just John.”

Ryan brusquely turns the shower off. “Wow, how shallow do you think I am? I got a little starstruck, sure, but I can see he’s the love of your life. I won’t stand in the way of that.”

Shane stops mid-toweling his hair dry. “What if  _ you’re _ the love of my life?”

“Who says you’re only allowed one?”

Shane blinks. “You can’t be serious.”

“What?” Ryan says defensively. “It’s a thing! Lots of people do it!”

Shane doesn’t say a word until they’re both dressed in their PJs and back in the bedroom, Shane sitting on the edge of the bed, Ryan against the headboard, hugging a pillow to his chest. 

“That’s a huge thing you’re offering.” Shane says at last. 

“I know.”

“It’s not something you can just throw out there because you’re feeling sorry for me.”

“I don’t.”

“Or because you think you have to.”

“I don’t.”

“Or because you’re scared you’re gonna lose me.”

Ryan hesitates. “I — I’m not.”

“Or because you want to fuck John Mulaney.”

There’s a charged silence, and Ryan goes, “I mean…”

They burst out laughing at once. 

“You’re a dingus, Ryan Bergara,” Shane wheezes, hitting him with a pillow. 

“Yeah, but you love me.”

“Jesus, I do.”

***

Shane’s hands are shaking as he pays for his flat white. In the past two days, Ryan and he have been through so many  _ he has a wife!  _ —  _ it’s just coffee! _ discussions, which are all currently running through his mind, his back tensing every time the bell above the door of the coffee shop rings. 

He’s grateful for Ryan picking up on his mood and rubbing circles between his shoulder blades, but at the same time…

It’s weird that Ryan’s here, isn’t it?

No, it’s not, once again, John’s got a wife, Shane’s got a boyfriend. This is just coffee. It means nothing. 

Outside of the fact that the more he thinks about it, the more Shane’s still head over heels nuts in love with John. 

They’re sitting with their coffees, Ryan squeezing his hand under the table, when John walks in — or rather, stumbles in, all stupid long legs and awkward apologies — why is Shane so fond of the guy is beyond him. 

But then John grins self-deprecatingly and waves at them on his way to order, and Shane can’t hold back a smitten sigh. 

Ryan giggles. “You got it bad, huh?”

Shane tries for aloof. “That’s been established.”

“Still. Were you that cute when you were crushing on me?”

“Pretty much, but you were the picture of obliviousness.”

“It’s quite fun, seeing it from the outside.”

“Voyeur, are ya?”

Ryan blushes a deep red. “Maybe.”

Shane would push him further, but he notices that John is picking up his order, and maybe Shane shouldn’t fluster his boyfriend too much when they’re out with people. 

Shane’s heart skips a beat or two when John approaches — his mouth is dry and he can’t remember how humans make words. 

But then John sets his coffee on their table and says something Shane can’t hear over the rush of blood in his ears, and stands in front of Shane, arms wide open. 

Shane is on autopilot, luckily — of their own accord his legs stand up and his arms reach out and he pulls John against him, a bit stiffly at first but then he lets out a sigh of relief and slumps against John. 

John chuckles and squeezes his shoulder. “I missed you too.”

Shane breaks the embrace and sits down. He rubs a hand down his face, embarrassed. 

“It’s not — I’m not… lonely or whatever. I just — jesus, I always wished I could have hugged you one last time.” He takes a long sip of too-expensive coffee. “Wow, way to start with the heavy stuff.”

“You never did beat around the bush.”

There’s half a dozen jokes Shane could make, all more or less appropriate, but he can’t — not when John is looking at him like that, a look of nostalgia and bittersweetness and regrets. The look is gone in an instant, and John grins again, taking a sip of coffee. 

“Had a good Christmas?” he asks simply, like this is just a regular catch-up session between old friends. 

Which, Shane supposed it would be, from an external point of view. 

“First time meeting the Madejs,” Ryan says. 

John clutches a hand to his chest. “Sherry’s cooking. I still miss it to this day.”

“She wouldn’t let me leave this morning before I took a third plate at breakfast,” Ryan says, grinning.

“How about your Christmas?” Shane asks John.

“A bit of the same,” he says enigmatically. “Anna and I brought Pete back home for the first time.”

“Pete?” Shane asks, at the same time as Ryan goes, “Oh,” with a self-satisfied smile. 

“Our boyfriend,” John says simply, and really, Ryan should maybe chill, Shane thinks.

John gets up to go to the bathroom, and Shane has to admire his timing. The guy has obviously been in entertainment for a long time, to drop a bomb like this and let Shane sit with it.

“They have a boyfriend,” Ryan says smugly.

“So?” Shane squeaks, voice strangled. “It doesn’t mean anything, plenty of people are in closed triads.”

“Oh, come on!” Ryan exclaims, making a few people jump in the quasi-silent coffee shop. “You can’t tell me you won’t at least breach the subject. That’s an open door if I ever saw one.”

Shane doesn’t have time to answer, because John comes back, grinning like nothing happened. 

“And, um…” Shane clears his throat. “Did things go well, with, y’know… your parents, and your… Pete?”

“Weeeeeell…” John trails off. “Anna and Pete did spend the better part of our first night talking me through a panic attack.”

“Oh.”

“Ghosts of Christmas pasts, and the likes, you know…”

The look in John’s eyes is magnetic and desperate.

Shane cannot help reaching out to take his hand. “What did they say?”

“The ghosts?”

“Anna and Pete.”

“They told me to shoot my shot.”

“That’s what Ryan said.”

“Thanks, Ryan,” John says, but his eyes don’t leave Shane’s.

“You really think we can pick up where we left it?” Shane has to ask, because there’s still so many questions whirling in his head.

“Nah. But I think we can start on a blank slate, now.”

It really should be weird.

But when Ryan’s hand takes Shane’s under the table, and John’s hand cups Shane’s jaw, when their lips meet, Shane realizes something.

It  _ is _ weird.

John Mulaney is weird.

Shane Madej is weird.

A life with Ryan Bergara and John Mulaney definitely sounds weird.

But weird is good.

Real good.


End file.
